It’s very easy to address women in clubs – even if you think they’re all arrogant bitches or if you’re a muffle
Great music, good atmosphere and especially extremely hot women …
But 87% of men don’t know how to address women in the club ..
They do everything wrong, although it would be so easy if you follow a few simple rules …
Darius and Estefano give you step-by-step instructions on how to address hot women in clubs and bars – with guaranteed success ..
In the middle of the article, Darius reveals a trick to increase your social status in clubs enormously (no one knows this yet – so stay tuned)
Address women in the club – that’s how it works
Darius: If you want to get to know women in the disco, there are many things that you can do very well and that you cannot do properly, I just say.
It is important to be aware that discos are not the holy grail and not the only place where you can meet women.
We have already said that in other places, but discos can of course still be very, very advantageous.
I personally am a fan of talking to women. I’m not that big of a fan of just dancing women on the dance floor and then doing so much about body language.
Personally, I’m not that good at it, I’m more likely to be able to talk to people. Nevertheless, discos are of course helpful because women go there to get to know men and because women are more in this flirty mode where it can be sexually escalated than when I now speak to a woman in a shopping center, for example.
That means I try to take advantage of a disco.
Addressing women in the club – preparation is critical
How do I do that? First of all I prepare properly for the disco, that means I make myself beautiful, I put on something nice, go to the disco, I start talking to people.
So in the train, in the subway, or when I’m in line I talk to people, when I’m in front of the doorman I ask, ‘Hey, is there a lot going on here?’ And so on. I’m starting to get into social mode.
This is incredibly important because you underestimate it too much.
Most people go to the disco, come into the disco, first get something to drink at the bar and then they stand there with their drink and then they don’t even get into this mode at all.
And that doesn’t even want to have it, I don’t want this pattern at all. That means I start talking to people right from the start. I go and ask the bouncer ‘Hey, is there a lot going on?’ And then he says ‘Yes’ / ‘No’ or whatever.
I ask the girl or guy on the jacket drop, I ask the same thing and so on. And a trick that tells me … – trick, it sounds like it is something secret now, but it is something that people just don’t do – I always go to the club relatively early. So I go to the disco when there isn’t much going on.
But why do I do that when my goal is to appeal to women in the club?
Because it’s easier for me to chat with people. For example, I go to a woman and say, ‘Hey, sorry, somehow it is not so busy here, do you think it will get crowded here later?’ Then the woman says ‘maybe / yes / no’ or whatever always, and then I say ‘cool, great. What’s your name? ‘Then she says’ Jenny’, then I say ‘Hi Jenny, I’m Darius, cool’ and then I go away again.
Then I introduced myself, I’m in such a social mode. Then when the evening went on later and I remember her name – that’s the difficulty – I can see her again later and say, ‘Hey Jenny totally awesome, that you said that I should stay here. Thank you for that! ’And so on.
This has several advantages. On the one hand, I already know her, so I don’t have to talk to her again when she has just been approached by five guys who did the shit and she is annoyed, but I am pre-selected and, above all, everyone else sees from the disco that I know her. They think I’ve known her for a long time. Because when I go to her and say, ‘Hey Jenny, totally awesome …’ no one hears what I’m talking to her.
Estefano: Yes. Most men also forget completely, because addressing women in the club was my thing for years, I did nothing else. I was really always in the club with 10 men and coached them. I showed them how to kiss a woman. That’s how I started. So I was a real life coach before I did it online. And there is so much I wanted to say right now, but it would take 10 hours to talk here.
But just a quick hint from me, most men underestimate the social framework, how important the social framework with other people around the woman is.
Which has nothing to do with what you do when you speak to the woman. For example, if you address the woman with a saying, then the woman in front of you also got a picture of you. I mean, she saw ‘okay, the guy was cool now. Was he social? Did he talk to other people.
Shook hands with the waitress. Did he talk to three other women who laughed? Or he was standing in the corner all the time and had a beer with three friends. Looked at all the women dancing because he didn’t dare to speak to them. And this picture that she has of you before you spoke to her makes a lot of sense and decides 90% how she would be if you spoke to her. Then the saying itself is relatively unimportant.
And what you shouldn’t do is make this round in the club – you know how many men do it – ‘Let’s see which hot women there are!’
And just like how you did it, you addressed her with something completely banal. We did that for ages. And when you come in, you first speak to a lot of women and what you shouldn’t do is do this round in the club – you know how many men do it – let’s see which hot women there are! ‘
Darius: This hunting mode that many men fall into when they go to women in clubs …
Estefano: Exactly. Like a pack of predators. Just like a pack dinosaur runs through the club to see where all the hot women are without speaking to anyone. Because what you are doing at the moment is destroying your social value at the moment because you are showing that you want to have all these women, because everyone is just looking at the women without anyone daring to speak to them.
And at the end of this round, every woman saw that you don’t dare, that you don’t know anyone, and afterwards you do it so hard to speak to any woman that evening.
Darius: It is important that you learn to be comfortable in such a club context. There are a lot of people who come to me and say ‘Darius, I don’t like loud music, I don’t like clubs, I think clubs shit’. Then I ask, ‘Why are you going to speak to women in the club?’ If you don’t enjoy the club, then go somewhere else. Talking to women in the club is not for you!
If you are one of those guys who hate going to clubs and still read the article up to here, I have a whole series of articles on how you can address women in everyday life, on the street and everywhere – click here for women to address anywhere
Estefano: If you ask me. The reason why clubs are not fun for a lot of men is because they can’t get their heads together on how to do it in clubs. Because otherwise speaking to women in the club would be fun.
The club evening is not decided in the third hour. The decision is made in the first two minutes.
Estefano: The club evening is not decided in the third hour. The decision is made in the first two minutes. Since you can already say that it will be a great evening or not. If you go into the club and you do not speak to a woman before you sit, then you have mostly lost because then you are no longer in it, you are no longer warm, you sit, then you start to look and the second you look are you game-over. That’s it.
Addressing women in the club – the 5 rule
So when you go to the club, the first thing you do is speak to the first woman you see.
This rule of five has brought so many men something.
You go in – I did this for years in coachings – you go in, you speak to the first woman you see and there is only one rule in the 5 rule and you have to speak to five women in a row and you must not abort , and there must be no pause in between.
That said, I speak to the first woman – it can take two seconds, it can take two hours – but as soon as I’m done with her, I go straight to the next woman.
In between, a maximum of 3 seconds may pass before I can talk to the next one. If you only do it with 5 women, from the beginning when you come in, you are so warm at the end of these five women that it doesn’t matter whether you had a good evening or a bad evening before.
It does not matter. You are warm, you are inside and so you can address women in the club. But if you sit down and look in the club, you’ve lost.
Darius: It is incredibly important that you start building such a sensible dynamic right from the start. One thing we used to do very often is that when there was no one on the dance floor, we not only went to the dance floor, but to the boxes around the dance floor. That you can see us very clearly. We have opened the dance floor.
And that’s very, very uncomfortable at the beginning, I have to admit honestly.
Estefano: Yes, because everyone is looking at you.
Darius: Because everyone is looking at you! But the thing is, when you do that and you stand on the box, you don’t think how often women start walking on the dance floor afterwards, if you keep dancing on the box, gather in front of the box and then just put them on the box can get up.
And if you bring a move like that in the club, everyone sees it. You can then address all the women in the club that you want and all women will say, ‘This is definitely the boss here’. This is very clear, because he dared to dance alone on the box, he didn’t give a damn what the others thought, then women came to him and he brought them up on the box and the women who like it too to sit in the scene.
Then you dance with them, you don’t have to do much with them anymore. But everyone sees that.
You are the king of the evening afterwards
Estefano: Two really bleak evenings I’ve had in my life.
It was one of the craziest club evenings. That was on an evening when I was standing on a table with friends and the club was packed. And we stood on the table and I was wearing these white golf gloves because I had read somewhere, ‘I just have something crazy or everyone is looking at you’ and the women had to walk past this narrow aisle.
Every woman had to go by because it was on the first floor, the club consisted of two floors. And every time a woman went by, I just held out those stupid golf gloves with my hand and tried to get her on the table.
And my two friends did the same. What we did, we got the woman up, we just kissed her without comment, then we let her down. As if that were normal. We did it with 6-7-8 women because everyone who passed by hadn’t seen what we did with the one before.
Or the first time in my life where I managed to get a woman to travel around and kiss me on the dance floor.
The other example: It was an evening, it was terrible the evening and I went out there and there was such a small dance floor, that was a relatively small, narrow club and there were 4-5 women on the dance floor and I stand by it , and just dance with someone, but not because something wanted to be with her, but simply because I wanted to see how she reacts. And she took part.
So I somehow had the idea to dance with the one on my right. So I suddenly let her stand there and dance with my right. And the one looks at me like this and I dance briefly with the one and then I leave the one again and dance again with the one. And the other one looks at me like that, you know? And so I jumped around a few times and the jealousy became so huge between the two women that I think the 5th or 6th time I danced one, the one grabs me by the shoulder and pulls me back kiss me, you know. It wasn’t about me, it was just about knocking the other out.
Or one more thing – there are so many things I want to say about women in the club – but one last thing. In clubs, what I often did was sit down at the bar, and always with your back to the bar and then when a hot blonde walks past, you speak to her, but while you have your back to the bar then sit and pull her towards you and then you do something like thumb catch and you are the ultimate boss because you sit with her back to the bar while she shakes your hand and all the women in the area get it with and afterwards you have a really easy time talking to other women in the club because they think ‘this is the guy who was turned on by hot women’ because they don’t know that you are the one who actually turns them on.
Darius: Yes. There are so many things you can use to address women in the club. One of my favorite sayings when I meet women in clubs is a saying that probably works 98% of the time. There are things like that, they say it always works. But it really always works. Except, I have to admit, it didn’t work once, but the women were too … either I didn’t really notice it before, but at some point I got an apple with the saying.
Here’s what you do: You go to a group of women and say, ‘Hey, come on, are you from here?’ They say yes / no, it doesn’t really matter. If they say yes, you say ‘great, then you can definitely help me’ if they say no, you say ‘great, then you can definitely help me’, it doesn’t really matter.
Then you say ‘I haven’t been to the club in a long time,’ or ‘I’ve never been to the club here’ – depending on what applies to you – ‘but before I got here my friends recommended this club to me. Now I’ve come here and the club is really quite good but somehow the mood is strange, somehow people seem to me like they all have a stick in the ass. Now I’ve seen you and you’re actually cooler. You are probably the only cool people here that you can have fun with. Can you reasonably party with you, right? ’
And in 99% of the cases they say, yes, of course, we are reasonable people, we have no stick in the ass’. What should you say? Should they say ‘No, we are boring’? They don’t say that – except once – it actually happened, ‘No, we’re boring’, turned around and left. But normally they say, of course, of course, we are cool and I, finally normal people, hi, I’m Darius, what’s your name? Then you can start talking to them relatively cool.
Estefano: And if she reacted badly to him, she would be one of the people with a stick in her ass!
Darius: Exactly! That’s why it’s not bad for me. And that’s also a possibility that can be used relatively often if you want to speak to women in the club to get into conversation. It’s not a problem if you prefer to keep a stick, it’s not a problem. It is important, no matter how such an interaction takes place – it usually works with the saying – you still have to keep a smile. So when you go see people, the other people around you, you shouldn’t forget that. They don’t see what it’s about. If you walk away with a smile, ‘Okay, no problem, see you later’.
Estefano: And she’s like ‘fuck you asshole’!
Darius: And you go away. Then the others think ‘Oh blatant, they all like him full!’
Addressing women in the club – the cigarette vending machine trick
And then I can do a lot, you know, I know another famous dating coach – I’m not going to give his name now – what he did in a long time he went to women in the club, he went to the hottest woman, she asked something ‘hey, where’s the nearest cigarette machine’ or whatever and when she said that, he just took out his cell phone and he typed something on his cell phone.
Anything. ‘Ok there is the next cigarette machine. Ok then cool, we’ll see you later until then, ciao. And everyone thought he checked her number. Everyone thought that he was such a cool guy. He did that back then to impress his participants. He told me that in secret, that’s why I’m not saying his name. But it is still a cool move to raise your own status a bit in the club.
Estefano: Apart from the fact that it’s a disaster for participants to do to impress them, it’s a cool move because it looks like you got the number. What every man can actually try.
Darius: Exactly. So, that’s something you can use. I would say I would not do it to impress my attendees, but you can just use the instant if you say ‘Okay, I’m not so confident about collecting the phone number’ so you can collect a few plus points . There are so many little things that you can use at the beginning like training wheels, which you should refrain from doing later, but which are simply helpful at the beginning to gain these positive reference experiences, which we have already mentioned in other places.
Estefano: I also knew someone who always spoke to women. And when he saw a hot woman, he went to a not so hot woman because he was hot too and just spoke to her and then when she answered, he looked at the hot woman, rolling his eyes slightly as if one annoys him.
Once I was on a mega coaching and I spoke on stage in front of 300-400 men, I think, in Frankfurt. And we all went to the club afterwards and I had talked about how to address women in clubs.
Then someone says to me, ‘Hey Estefano, look over there, there is a woman who is standing with her back to the wall, I was talking to her but now this guy is suddenly there and he is talking to her and I cannot get him path’. And he’s leaning against her so full. And so I ‘wait’ and I already had a drink at the time and I run to the guy and just pick him up.
Then he stands away and tells him, “Now you can, right?” And the guy was so amazed by the action that he was completely overwhelmed. The guy never came, he didn’t do anything to her, he was just gone. I never saw it again.
Darius: A lot of things you wouldn’t believe if you weren’t there. You have to filter it out. You just have to try it.
Estefano: Or the two lesbians. Do you know the story with the two lesbians there? That was also the case with the participants. There were two lesbians and they smooched all the time. And one spoke to her and got a basket and another got a basket and I think the third got a basket and that was one of the people I coached that was that same evening – in that mega -Club in Frankfurt was that, it was a long time ago, I don’t know what the club looks like now – in any case they all got a basket and then at some point they told me to go.
And I know I’m going to get a basket right away because they don’t like men. So I go and say the magic magic words and suddenly the women stop, let go of each other, pull me back and want me. And then the discussion started, ‘Estefano, shit what did you tell them?’
They all wanted to know what happened. And how I did it was like I went there and said, ‘Hey girls’ and they already want to give me a basket. And I say, ‘Ah, you don’t like gays, do you?’ And acted like I was gay. And they ‘No, no, wait!’ And pull me back. After a few minutes I just told them it was just fun, but that’s how I got my foot in the door.
You are gay ‘and we’ yes, sometimes we make exceptions
Darius: I was with a friend in Frankfurt, we spoke to two girls and for some reason they thought they were gay. For whatever reason. They asked ‘Are you here together?’ And we ‘yes, yes, we are here together’. We talked to them in pairs and then we strapped at some point that the girls said we thought we were gay.
And we like, ‘okay, if you think so’. If we do it together now, ‘Yes Estefano, he always has rough lips somehow’, ‘You have full lips so soft’ when you are in this gay frame, you can touch her too, it’s not a problem . Then we just smooched around with them and then they said ‘you are gay’ and we ‘yes, sometimes we make exceptions’
Estefano: Whatever I said is ‘I’ve never kissed a woman’ and then you have to be a tough poker face and she’s like ‘what’? and I ‘no, I find it disgusting, I can never kiss a woman’ and then she says, ‘You don’t even want to try, right?’ and I, ‘No, I couldn’t’ ‘Yes, kiss me!’ and then I want to some kiss me and I like ‘no, no’. Yes, the video is now too long.
Darius: So, as I said, it’s best to try out different things. Try to have fun with it. Come into this social mode and you will see what works particularly well for you. You have to find your own way for yourself and just be keen to experiment.